News: Final Fantasy and the Fine Arts!

Square Enix To Lead Literature!

As everybody already knows video games are the height of literary achievement. Live theatre is clumsy and infantile by comparison, and forget books – books have terrible graphics! Video games are pretty much the very pinnacle of literary expression, and then Final Fantasy is pretty much a pinnacle of this medium. Final Fantasy XV specifically! When playing through Final Fantasy XV, who did not immediately wish for it to be made into novel – like an NES demake – so that Square Enix can show authors how it is done!

Square Enix have adopted airs based on successes they had in the 1990s!
This is how Square Enix view themselves…

Readers rejoice, because you will now never have to ever read another book that is not Final Fantasy XV! Final Fantasy XV: The Dawn of the Future will be the epic and literary novelisation of four pieces of Final Fantasy XV DLC, some of which were cancelled before they could be implemented into the game. This means that you need to buy Final Fantasy XV: The Dawn of the Future in order to get the full Final Fantasy XV experience! Final Fantasy XV: The Dawn of the Future will be available in English language on June 23rd 2020 – please buy a lot!

Square Enix To Master the Musical!

Square Enix has not seen fit to stop with literature however. They also plan to show the world of musical theatre how it is done. There are few modes of human expression that are able to elicit emotion as effectively as music, other than video games of course, and so it was always natural that Square Enix would turn to this medium. After watching Les Miserables one night, Tetsuya Nomura famously wanted to transform Final Fantasy XV into a musical, which would have been a huge improvement over the game we ended up getting.

This garbage is worthy of novelisation, apparently.
… But this is what they actually look like!

While Nomura’s vision may have never been realised for Final Fantasy XV, it is nonetheless being brought into fruition in a round about way, because the free to play phone game Final Fantasy Brave Exvius is being turned into a live musical production! You could certainly not ask for a narrative more fraught with drama and whimsy than Brave Exvius, so it is a natural choice for Square Enix to choose this particular game to transform into a musical. It is even being handled by Fumiya Matsuzaki, the maestro who brought the Super Danganronpa 2 musical to the stage, so you just know it will be good! The show will run from March 6th to March 15th in Tokyo, and then from March 20 to March 29 in Kobe. Please buy a lot!

TDT Was Right Again (About Blizzcon)

One is legit upset that there is not a third story of Square Enix putting on airs to make this a pretension hatrick, but one does as he must, and this is a good consolation. It is probably pretty obvious to readers that Blizzard’s very bad week is fast becoming Blizzard’s very bad month. Blizzard’ name has been bud ever since they suspended pro Hearthstone player Blitzchung, and in the weeks since even corporate entities are getting in on clowning Blizzard. Epic’s Tim Sweeney took some very thinly veiled jabs at Blizzard, and now just this week Magic the Gathering are making a big deal about not banning one of their pros who made a similar Hong Kong democracy protest on stream. So all in all the public mood is very much against Blizzard at this point.

These guys own a phone, Blizzard.

No sooner had Blizzard put their foot in it then TDT were immediately predicting that this year’s Blizzcon would see metaphorical fireworks. This is all but guaranteed to happen now. The corporately funded protest group ‘Gamers for Freedom’ have signalled their intent to picket the event, which threatens to make the logistics of getting people into and out of the building more challenging, and is just bad optics in general. To be honest TDT probably should not rest on this particular laurel, as it is just bloody obvious that protestors were going to ruin this event. Blizzard really should have done a full climb down after the Blitzchung incident, because their failure to do so has guaranteed that their event will be a disaster. There will now be a large crowd picketing outside the event, and largely a good number of private actors on the inside trying to get their hands on the Q&A mic. You could have prevented this Blizzard, but instead you have chosen your own destruction!

One comment

  1. ” some of which were cancelled before they could be implemented into the game”
    That’s how you know they are the sort of QUALITY content that belongs in a novelisation! They were TOO GOOD to be WASTED on a video game! Only a NOVEL could see their incredible potential FULLY REALISED.

    “You could certainly not ask for a narrative more fraught with drama and whimsy than Brave Exvius,
    Nothing screams “Musical Theatre” like a ‘freemium’ mobile cash-in title where all the characters of a bunch of different Square Enix properties come together, improbably, in a single title. It’s just like Gilbert and Sullivan or Andrew Lloyd Webber or Steven Sondheim!

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