News: Trojan Horseplay

... But there you go!
It’s difficult to think any more dimly of the Kickstarter culture that the game industry is mired in…

Obsidian Bends Knee to the Easily Offended, Negates Backer’s $500 Reward Tier in the Bargain

How much does a five hundred dollar donation get for an Obsidian backer? Not a hell of a lot it turns out. The five hundred dollar backer tier for Obsidian’s Pillars of Eternity allows for donators to pen their own short epitaph to appear on in-game tomb stones. To this end, a backer by the name of Firedorn wrote a humorous limerick depicting himself as an ill-fated Lothario driven to suicide after mistakenly sleeping with a man:

Here lies Firedorn, a hero in bed.
He once was alive, but now he’s dead.
The last woman he bedded, turned out a man
And crying in shame, off a cliff he ran.

Of course this perfectly harmless limerick paid for by a five hundred dollar pledge out of a backer’s pocket was the worst thing in the world for the Twitter SocJus brigade, all of whom were immediately triggered, especially the ones who who do not even play video games. An idiot by the name of @icequeenerika tweeted at Obsidian:

Hey @Obsidian you should have said no to this backer. Transmisogyny is not acceptable in 2015. #PillarsofEternity

This was then picked up by Ian ‘Little Hitler’ Cheong, who got in touch with Obsidian’s Josh Sawyer, tweeting:

@jesawyer Hey Josh, you might want to take a look at this:…

To which Sawyer replied:

@stillgray @icequeenerika @Obsidian I’ll talk to our producers about it. it’s hard to catch everything.

It would seem that Sawyer was good to his word, as patch 1.03 saw the removal of Firedorn’s limerick, not that anyone would have known this by reading the patch notes, as they failed to inform users that the patch was in fact serving as a Trojan Horse for @icequeenerika’s censorship agenda.

Something that needs to be pointed out is that this is not a decision that was made unilaterally by Obsidian. Obsidian could have stood firm against the uncouth rabble, or they could have acted in a high-handed fashion by simply changing the epitaph once they decided to buckle under pressure, but instead they decided to go with a third route of essentially dumping this entire SJW clusterfuck into the lap of the five hundred dollar backer himself, Firedorn. Obsidian reached out to Firedorn to inform him of how difficult his limerick was making things for the studio, and asked if he would be willing to change it. Of course, being someone who [for some reason?] cared enough for Obsidian to pledge five hundred dollars, Firedorn naturally acquiesced to Obsidian’s request – but the fact that this is so makes Obsidian no less the gormless self-censoring shits that they actually are.

Firedorn may have been willing to self-censor in order to lessen the PR burden on Obsidian, yet he is clearly far from happy with the outcome, immortalising the experience with a new [and rather fitting] epitaph:

Here lies Firedorn, a bard, a poet.
He was a card, but most didn’t know it.
A poem he wrote in jest was misread.
They asked for blood, so now he’s just dead.

In the subsequent Obsidian forum shitstorm which resulted, Firedorn went on to state:

The way I see it, I got to write something controversial and then got to publicly insult some people who didn’t like it.

While I would have preferred for the original to stay, there are worse things in life. I just think Obisdian’s energy would be best spent elsewhere.

I chose to turn into something that made fun of the bitch-bastards that were complaining.

Bottom line, this whole want for change was started by an idiot who can’t get her **** straight in her own life, due to circumstances both within and beyond her control. While you can have a difficult life dealing with gender identity issues and the bull**** that comes along with it, it does not give you “carte blanche” to **** on everyone else. Beyond that, there’s the lemming mentality that people will follow a friggin nutcase in her quest for so called “justice” when the entire thing is taken way out of context. The joke wasn’t targeted at trans-people, nor anyone in the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. And her intense stupidity took center stage on that and gave proof, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that she’s just trying to grasp at anything to push her hateful agenda forward.

Eventually the furor over the stealth-censorship became such that Obsidian CEO, Feargus Urquhart, had to give comment on the issue, treating gamers as idiots in the process:

It’s come to our attention that a piece of backer-created content has made it into Pillars of Eternity that was not vetted. Once it was brought to our attention, it followed the same vetting process as all of our other content. Prior to release, we worked with many of our backers to iterate on content they asked to be put into the game that didn’t strike the right tone.

In the case of this specific content, we checked with the backer who wrote it and asked them about changing it. We respect our backers greatly, and felt it was our duty to include them in the process. They gave us new content which we have used to replace what is in the game. To be clear, we followed the process we would have followed had this content been vetted prior to the release of the product.

We appreciate the faith you have all given us into making Pillars of Eternity the great game that it has become, and we appreciate the strength of conviction all of you bring to every conversation we have together.


Feargus Urquhart, CEO
Obsidian Entertainment, Inc.

Yes, it would seem that the vetting process which was applied to all other content which made it into Pillars of Eternity was somehow not applied to this one piece of backer content. Because that is totally plausible. It is absolutely not the case that the initial vetting process looked to weed out content that might be reasonably deemed offensive by a sane adult, and thus left in Firedorn’s original limerick due to the fact that no normally functioning human being could possibly take offense to it. No, it was totes just a clerical error. Does anyone else feel incredibly fortunate not to have wasted any money by directly funding Obsidian’s Kickstarter?

This is GamerGate.

Game Press Starts Refusing Coverage to Game Developers Who Hold Undesirable Opinions

Pretty much everything that Mark Kern warned the gaming community about is coming to pass. First, the inclination to self-censor as SJW attacks on free speech begin to have a chilling effect on expression and creativity, and then the blacklisting of certain developers and studios who do not tow the progressive line. Back in January of this year Mathew Mitchum, employee of Aesop Games and lead designer of Brunelleschi: Age of Architects, was interviewed by Ian ‘Little Hitler’ Cheong of Gameranx regarding his upcoming game. The interview went smoothly enough during the initial ten questions and follow-ups, yet the conversation continued beyond these planned questions and eventually alit on the topic of GamerGate, and Cheong’s very pointedly leading questions which sought to guide his subject into making biased smears against Cheong’s ideological enemies: the gamers.

In most cases this has worked in Cheong’s favour, providing him with much in the way of top tier propaganda. In all likelihood Cheong was probably keen to interview Mitchum because the majority of his studio is staffed by women, and thus he could be relied upon to support feminist sophistry, only this proved to not be the case at all. In this instance Mitchum is somebody who identifies as being pro-GamerGate, and was ready with polite factual rebuttals for whenever Cheong accused gamers of being responsible for various unsubstantiated atrocities, even going so far as to claim that 8chan’s Baphomet board is affiliated with GamerGate, when the owner of that board in fact uses the GamerGate autoblocker.

Who says /baphomet/ isn’t part of GG? GG has no leaders. No one to dictate party line or goals. Anyone who wants to be part of GG is part of GG. You can’t say who isn’t.

So you say /baphomet/ isn’t part of GG. Why do you get to say that? The people looking at them sure as shit think they’re part of GG. Because they walk like GG, talk like GG, quack like GG, and coincidentally have all the same targets as GG.

This isn’t how the real world works. All people have to go on with GG is their actions, and that’s why everyone is so repulsed by GG. There is no source of wisdom for the actions of members to betray, only the actions themselves. Labels aren’t magic. Labels are inferred from action becoming of a label. That’s why people look at /baphomet/, and immediately say “this is GG.”

When Cheong was unable to make any of his lies stick he eventually became pissy, curtly terminating the interview on the pretext of Mitchum refering to Chelsea Van Valkenburg by her legal name, which apparently counts as doxxing in Cheong’s myopic little world:

I will have to suspend the interview at this juncture as I am not comfortable introducing Zoe Quinn’s private dox and personal information into the interview.

Thank you for your time — and I’ll keep you posted on when the interview goes up.

That interview never did go up, not even in an edited form which redacted Chelsea’s name. As the weeks passed Mitchum mailed Cheong in order to inquire about the status of the interview, and was met with this:

Thanks for reaching out to ask. It’s staying shelved.

The interview did not agree with Cheong’s entrenched partisan view that gamers are harassers, rapists, and scum, and so it was of no use to him. Interviews are not conducted to inform, but rather to cultivate material which conforms to a biased worldview. So far this tendency for a game blog to silence the words of ideologically opposed game developers is isolated to Gameranx, though this could easily become a slippery slope scenario. At any rate, one has to wonder why these spiteful creatures even work for gaming blogs… They hate their audience, so why even bother?

I want it now!
I can haz port?

Salty Tears of the Beggar Race

The first stage of grief is denial. The second stage of grief is anger. The third stage of grief is bargaining – and the Bloodborne petition that has been making the rounds this week has exhibited all three of these qualities used interchangeably, with no sign of acceptance in sight! could certainly never be described as being shy when it comes to impugning the character of Xbone owners, yet there has been scarcely a peep from them throughout Bloodborne‘s launch week, while the the glorious PC beggar race have been weeping into their pocket protectors and cursing the name of Sony!

Thus, through the magic of the internet we have a fellow by the name of A Big Guy For You create a petition demanding that From Software and Sony release Bloodborne for the ‘Personalized Computing platform’ on the basis that:

Everyone should be able to play your game. It is not fair that we are left out. You have betrayed us after releasing your last two games on PC.

38,504 morons have signed this petition, and the description is nothing compared to the comments left by its supporters, who take the concepts of entitlement and autism to exciting new levels. It is for their benefit that has put together something of an FAQ [enjoy the delirium]:

If you are making a ‘real game for real game lovers’, then release it on all platforms so all the game lovers can enjoy it.

Or are you simply lying about that and making a game that will help Sony with its greedy tactics that are practically forcing to buy a whole fucking console in order to play a single game.

Not only that, but you release Dark Souls 1 & 2 on PC, and now take you the Souls series away from us?


I really hope you people make the right choice!
~ Marko Pezelj

i) Nobody is forcing anybody to buy anything – one need not play the game, simple. ii) Bloodborne is not a ‘souls game’. It is not part of the Dark Souls series. Players do not collect souls in it. Instead, it is part of the Sony-owned Bloodborne series. In it players collect ‘blood echos’. Hope this cleared up the confusion.

I consider the Souls games one of the best created and Bloodborne would probably surpass even that. This is a game that every true game lover should have a chance to immerse himself into, no matter what platform he owns. It is completely unfair otherwise.
~ Dino Ljubić

Every true game lover does have a chance to immerse ‘himself’ into Bloodborne no matter what platform he owns, providing that he is willing to purchase a PS4*.

*Every true game lover is also freely able to purchase a PS4.

Everybody who is here love FromSoftware games. I enjoyed a lot and played all of them for hours, I have a PS3, so I was able to play Demon’s Souls too, but now, I’m not going to pay 400€ + Game price to play Bloodborne, if FromSoftware is doing a game for the real fans, they should release the game for all the platforms.
~ Pau Oliver

From Software have made a game for Sony, because that is the entity which paid for its development and heavy marketing expenses.

Being a PC gamer I keep seeing Microsoft and Sony making games exclusive and punishing gamers who wish not to downgrade to a console. MIcrosoft and Sony obviously pay to have PC releases to have problems and bad optimization in hopes of converting gamers, which is very disappointing and is a cancer on the growth of gaming as a whole.
~ Nicholas Treace

So now both Sony and Microsoft are involved in a vast conspiracy to make PC gaming shit – and yet console gaming is a downgrade. Well, Nicholas Treace has managed to downgrade himself all the way out of being able to play Bloodborne.

the souls series is one of my favorites and after playing Dark souls 2 I wanted more. When I saw the ”project beast” teaser in the first teased images It had me pumped up, when I saw the first trailer I was so excited!… until it was announced it’s only on the PS4. Why limit the game on one console and a console that nobody wants to buy because it’s pretty much useless at this point…
~ Denis Kart

Denis Kart, eh? We can see through your ruse, Dyack! No matter. Why limit Bloodborne to a console that nobody [>20,000,000] wants to buy? It is almost as though Mr Dyack does not understand the purpose of a console exclusive game [it is to make people want to buy the console]. His comment is literally the justification for why Bloodborne is a console exclusive.

A game like this needs to be cross-platform, I understand why it cannot be on XBox, after all Sony are the ones paying for development, but I see absolutely no reason for PC gamers not to be able to experience a great game like this.
~ Ashes X SOFIA

… Because Sony are the ones paying for development?

Bloodborne is a gamer’s game!!! This makes no sense…
~ Marie Hehir

Correction, Bloodborne is a PS4 gamer’s game.

You gibe port?
Port plox.

It’s pretty underhanded to use the cross-platform availability of DS and DS2 to coerce users into buying a PS4 knowing that it will literally be the only game we would buy for it. Even though From Software clearly makes great games, I will never spend another dime towards them (was about to buy DS2 DLC).
~ Max DePalma

Implying that Bandai Namco’s only reason for releasing the Dark Souls games on PC was so that From Software could coerce users into buying PS4s…

I have played Dark Souls for more than 2000 hours… it’s my right to play this game…
~ Mojtaba Hosseini

It is the inalienable right of all free people to play Bloodborne, and nobody is preventing them from doing so. Might be a little hard without a PS4 though.

I can promise you Sony, if you don’t release the game to pc you will anger a whole bunch of people and lose a big part of your fans.
~ Erik Nilsson

Yes, Sony stand to lose the ‘big part’ of their fans who game exclusively on the PC.

I want to play this awesome game but i don’t have a console
~ Tom Kurkis

Buy a console.

Sony has betrayed the dark souls community
~ Alex Doyle

Sony has never had any involvement with the Dark Souls franchise or community, so they cannot be said to have betrayed anything.

This is technically betrayal, you give us two great games which caused a boom in your growth and now, because Sony are trying to use your accomplishment by dangling money tied to a string: they already have claimed the title, next it will be your franchise if you are not careful.
~ Ryan Job

Too late! Sony already owns the Bloodborne franchise.

its not fair for people on ps4 and xbox one we pc gamers what this game for us too not all people have upgraded from previous gen consoles but not only have you left previous gen but also pc gamers who also have the ability to run these games as well as the current gen consoles
~ saeed al zaabi ABUDHABI


There used to be some prestige involved with PC gaming, but no more it would seem. These thick-as-shit beggars should serve as a proper embarrassment to any PC gamer who is above begging for impossible second party exclusive game ports. These dribbling retards do not even seem to understand that there is a difference between Bandai Namco’s Dark Souls series and the two From Software games that have appeared as exclusives on Playstation platforms. It would seem that the beggar race has grown overly accustomed to Microsoft not being able to keep their exclusives on the Xbox One, but when has this ever been the case on Playstation? If SCE Japan is involved with a game’s development then it is never leaving the Playstation ecosystem. Period.


  1. I’ve been absolutely furious about this Obsidian issue since it first dropped. I -had- planned to purchase it after finishing off my preorder for the Witcher 3 next week and still look at videos of it with reluctance. I can’t justify supporting a company that dumps their responsibility to stand up to censorship in the lap of a contributor who spent 500 bucks on a piece of the game that was not only stripped, but done so with the side effect of putting him at the center of the circus. Western developers, by and large have become a bunch of money chasing, spineless pussies, and I’m sick of it.

    Apologies for the language. I’m pretty angry over this one.

  2. Zounds! I think Someone said it best: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!” and “You serpents, you generation of vipers!”

  3. It really is the most cowardly response they could have taken, and the thing that is blowing my mind are all the people who are claiming that Obsidian acted rightly by dumping this shitfest into the lap of a backer!

    What a fucking wretched company!

  4. “Western developers, by and large have become a bunch of money chasing, spineless pussies, and I’m sick of it.”


  5. ““I want to play this awesome game but i don’t have a console”
    ~ Tom Kurkis

    Buy a console.”

    I lost my shit.

  6. It’s really becoming apparent that a lot of people don’t get the “Souls” series, fundamentally. And I have some understanding for them, it’s a bit confusing especially since there’s no good or agreed upon name for referring to these games collectively.

    But when I read things like “Bloodborne is just a Dark Souls rip-off” I REALLY just lose my words. I… I’d rather just not bother to explain it, it tires me at the mere thought.

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