MAP Episode 79: Summer of Bup

I have always maintained that he is a cock.

Download Link: Produced 2010.08.22

Biggs journeys to Castle Caspius, whence she and Monsieur le Mayor Bup proceed to the Bavarian fortress town of Frankenmuth. There, they enjoy chicken, beer, and polka music, before returning to record this personal podcast with their humble host.

* * * * * * *

The following exchange was intercepted this afternoon by the Castle Caspius Security Detail.

Caspius: Hi Ginia! Save me plox ;.;
Virginia Herrell: Biggs?
Caspius: Yes, Lusi is showering at the moment
Virginia Herrell: EWWWWWW
Virginia Herrell: Don’t look, for the love of Jeebus
Caspius: Barf.
Virginia Herrell: Ok, just be cool. I’ll call the cops, just sit tight and don’t draw attention to yourself :/
Virginia Herrell: Do not make direct eye contact with the Lusi
Caspius: He’s been trying to kill me slowly, starting with the cat biting me. My theory is he’s trained her to eat the body so no evidence remains.
Virginia Herrell: Carolina almost killed me once, too!
Virginia Herrell: Their methods have become more advance,d though >.> This is worrying.
Caspius: Halp me
Virginia Herrell: I’m trying, but I think he’s bribing the local police. =(
Caspius: Bastard.
Virginia Herrell: I think his dad has a hunting rifle you can borrow…
Caspius: No need for that, Lusi is foolish enough to let me sleep between him and the mace.
Virginia Herrell: If anyone asks, we were on webcam doing hot internet girl-on-girl stuff the whole time and I saw nothing
Virginia Herrell: Even better, blunt force trauma is som uch harder to trace
Caspius: Yes, that’s a good alibi. I saw your gigantic midget tits and my mind was blown, we never spoke of my imprisonment or anything.
Virginia Herrell: Whoohoo I get to talk to some twat who cracked their iPod and is demanding a free repair =D
Virginia Herrell: And your plan is sound =D
Caspius: Oh I love those kinds of morons.
Virginia Herrell: *cracks knuckles*
Virginia Herrell: Me too
Caspius: “I didn’t think it would shatter like glass if I dropped it out of my car window while going 60 MPH, this is clearly a design flaw and I demand a refund.”
Virginia Herrell: TOOOO BAD
Virginia Herrell: Oh it’s a dude
Virginia Herrell: He’s a dick
Caspius: Interestingly enough, my phone is a badass and survived flying out of my window at 30MPH
Virginia Herrell: Pix or it didn’t happen
Caspius: It wasn’t in camcorder mode during its ordeal, so unfortunately, none exists.
Caspius: Oh shi–, the sound of running water has stopped, the tyrant is soon to follow.
Caspius: You remember our alibi, tell the Canadian FBI to hurry.
Virginia Herrell: Word!

Shortly thereafter, Jenifer Biggs died suddenly when she accidentally, horribly bludgeoned herself to death whilst combing her hair. The staff mourns her loss.


  1. FF XIII, what a trainwreck! (my opinion of it has only diminished)

    -I wouldn’t expect another major FF game to be released this generation after VS XIII.

    -OMG, that ending sounds fucking retarded!

    -Motomu Toriyama and Kitase were in charge of XIII.

    -Nomura and Hashimoto are in charge of VS XIII. (you won’t have control of your entire party in VS XIII)

    -LADY GAGA!!!

    -Given that the Wii was profitable at launch and still outsells the other two consoles, I think Nintendo will be happy supporting the Wii until the sales drop off bellow their competitors.

    -I think both the Kinect and Move will fail.

    -LOL, Nintendo loose their demography to 3D lolcats!

    -OMG: NATE just picked my favourite moment in gaming! MGS3 was wonderful.

    -Dirge of Cerberous was AWFUL. Good thing Biggs enjoys it,because 3rd Birthday is the sequel.

  2. Recording a podcast live and in person with Bup AND Caspius? I’m sorry, Jenifer.

  3. FFXIII – Ever since they released that first action sequence CGI with Lightning killing everything, the game felt off. I bought the game a few months ago, and played it up until chapter 11. I got to “the open world”, but I was too burned out to continue. The second I got there I saved, tried fighting a behemoth, died and turned the game off. I sold back to EB for 75% of what I paid a few days later.

    Sure FF’s are linear, but this game was made me feel very claustrophobic. You’re walking down a tunnel one-meter in length for the majority of the game. I also did not care for the battle system at all. I understood the paradigm system enough to get me to chapter 11, but a certain boss at the end of chapter 10 took me a half dozen tries and each fight lasted about 30 minutes. Everyone was max upgraded to that point of the game, so I was probably doing something wrong; out of most likely 50 RPG’s I’ve played in my life I have never felt like I was doing something wrong in any battle system. Even Baten Kaitos Origins battle system was an absolute breeze, and extremely enjoyable, for me.

    I believe Kinect will not succeed, but that Microsoft will spend a lot of time spinning the Kinect like it did succeed. One of Microsoft Europe Exec’s recently said that the Kinect will completely sell out this Christmas. I find that difficult to believe unless they copy another thing Nintendo was alleged of doing, greatly limiting to supply to increase demand. Selling out something to create positive buzz is easy if all you do is release very few of something to sell to the early adopter fanboi’s.

    The Move, I’m on the fence. I really like the idea of playing certain games with Waggle, like Resident Evil 5. ResEvil4 Wii edition is vastly superior, IMO, to the GC and PS2 editions which were already unbelievable games. Though it’s just to pricy, like Kinect, for addon’s to products halfway (or more) through their life cycles. Maybe the panel is right and the waggle fad is ending. Despite that, I think waggle can be amazing if implemented correctly like it was in RE4 and Metroid Prime 3 (and 1&2). Still can’t wrap my head around why Caspius didn’t like the controls for MP Trilogy. The freedom of movement and accuracy is so much improved over the standard controller…

  4. I disagree, I have a handful of Wii games using waggle which I should enjoy playing, but I don’t because of that waggle. The Wiimote is terribly inaccurate and cumbersome. I just can’t relax while playing a game with motion controls in the same way as I can with a control pad.

  5. What SN said. It is MUCH more difficult to relax whilst playing a game when you have to have your hands in a particular position pointing a particular way, and then to jerk them about to get things just right.

    I love Metroid Prime, but after playing it with wagglemote controls for 15 minutes I was getting cramps in my wrists and arms. If I may quote Master Nathaniel Liles, Esq.: Fuck that shit.

  6. Unfortunate. I can play the games I mentioned while sitting down with both my arms/hands in my lap and never felt more relaxed playing a game in my life. True you can’t do that for a lot of the Wii’s library. As for accuracy in, for example, RE4 it actually made the game easier because it was substantially easier to make head shots. It made several scripted sections throughout the game remarkably simple. That’s probably a bad thing I suppose, but you spent far less time aiming like you did in the GC and PS2 versions with your thumbs which, IMO, was extremely cumbersome. That applies to any console FPS, again IMO, that using your thumbs to aim crosshairs in frantic fast paced games is ridiculously cumbersome.

    I absolutely prefer using the Wiimote to aim a Crosshair over using the left or right analog stick with my thumbs and am fortunate enough not to have the issues you both mentioned. SN, in my experience the controls simply weren’t taken proper advantage of in most of the Wii’s library. It is very inaccurate and cumbersome in a lot of games, but IMO because the developers rushed whatever game out the door without taking advantage of the tech. A lot of games in the library were simply rushed out the door to help boost sales at the end of whatever company’s quarter.

    RE and MP games were the only ones I really enjoyed the controllers for, I did not like games that forced you to swing around like a buffoon. Twilight Princess was my absolute limit for wrist/body movements for any Wii game. I will not be playing the new Zelda game unless they offer a much toned down version which I doubt they will since directional cutting is its main selling feature.

    If it starts causing cramps yeah fuck that shit.

  7. Favorite game this year: Sakura Wars. So glad to finally get one stateside.

    Worst game this year: Mimana Iyar Chronicles. I would rather play 100 hours of FF13’s hallway simulator than spend another 10 minutes on that crapfest. The localization on it was the ONLY good thing about that game.

    I am definitely excited for the 3DS. I still have the original DS without backlight and whatnot. I think the 3DS is a worthwhile upgrade.

    Nate, should everyone buy an XBOX 360 for Fable II?

  8. Word up to Bup! Heavy Rain is also probably my favorite game of this year so far. I hope Quantic Dream expands upon the gameplay if they decide to go with the whole “Interactive Drama” style again. Other than that I think it was great.

  9. Yeah, I’m not a Heavy Rain fan. Cool mood, but there’s nothing enticing about that gameplay to me.

  10. @Lusi: Does NATE take a camera wherever he goes? He posts videos of the oddest things; a can of beer in a toilet, drink bottles on a nightclub table, writing on a shopfront window; all in the last hour.

  11. @DCS: I played So Long My Love and I’ve gotta say, I was pleasantly surprised by it. Very entertaining game. I expected a few more RPG elements, but that’s really my own fault for having incorrect expectations.

    In complete contradiction to Bup, I think War for Cybertron’s actually my favorite game so far this year. I think a large chunk of that was, again, expectations. I’m a huge Transformers fanboy, but I fully expected it to come out and be another crappy licensed game. Much to my delight, it was actually worth playing, and has some of the most fun multiplayer in a shooter I’ve seen in a while (nothing horribly innovative, but what’s there is done well). Again, take my extreme bias towards the property into account, though. Honorable mention to the Blazblue series, which is loads of fun, even if you such as bad as I do at fighters.

    I think FFXIII was my most disappointing as well, but I did enjoy it for what it was. I guess it’s more the fact that I haven’t really been disappointed by any games I’ve played this year.

    My “I need to get around to it” game is definitely Heavy Rain. Love it or hate it, I want to play it just so that I have a definite opinion.

  12. #RIPJeniferBiggs :(. You need to plan ahead if you require the Canadian FBI, they have to saddle a pig before they can provide assistance.

  13. We tried to send the Royal Canadian Mounted Pigs by canoe.

    Unfortunately, they sank.

    #RIPJeniferBiggs :(

    ps – Can I have her stuff?

  14. Looks like we broke our spare tits before we went through our first set.

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